Santa Baby
by Makiko Igami
Summary: It's Christmas. Jou talks Kaiba into doing something for his little brother to show his love. Strange things ensue. SetoJou implied, rated for cursing.


Title: Santa Baby  
Author: Makiko Igami (makikoigami@yahoo.de)   
Archive:   
  
  
  
  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: Seto Kaiba/Jounouchi Katsuya (Joey)  
Type/Warnings: Yaoi, hilarity.  
Status: One Shot (+Sequel)  
Spoilers: None  
Disclaimer: *checks her Christmas presents* Nope, I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Don't own the songs (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and Santa Baby) either.  
Summary: It's Christmas. Jou talks Kaiba into doing something for his little brother to show his love. Strange things ensue.  
Notes&Comments: Plotbunny jumped at me! I am not to blame! It's Kylie's fault! And I promise it will be funny. ^_^  
Plus I just got the taste of the Lair's wonderful people... I had Dil, Kei, Selena and my friend Nix (who isn't part of the Lair) beta this baby before I published it. ^^;

"..." spoken words  
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"I can't believe I'm doing this," Kaiba Seto mumbled to himself as he stared down at the small funnel he was about to climb in.

He was already cold, his nose and cheeks competing with his coat and hat for the brightest color of red, and he definitely despised getting dirty as well or even worse, getting a few cuts all over him from the sharp stones. Luckily his ears were covered by that damn wig to keep them from freezing off his head. He also wore a white beard, but it was tickling him mercilessly and if he could he would get rid of it immediately. Hell, if he had had a say in this he wouldn't even be out there in the cold, literally freezing his ass off.

'I'm doing this for Mokuba... just for him,' he reminded himself, trying to keep the picture of large brown puppy eyes out of his mind...

_~Flashback~_

"No. Only over my dead body."

"But Seto... It's for Mokuba! The kid loves you!"

"...No."

"Why not?! Come on, it'll be fun!"

"Mokuba is too old..."

"You're never too old for THAT!"

"Listen, pup. I understand why YOU would want to see.... it... but my brother doesn't believe in Santa Claus anymore!"

"How do you know? Have you talked to him about that matter?"

"No, but I don't believe in S. Claus, I never have, so Mokuba doesn't either."

"Just because he's a Kaiba doesn't mean he's as..." Jou searched for the right word; he didn't want to say "cold" as he knew that Seto wasn't cold at all, he just didn't want to display his emotions to everyone. "Well, as rational as you are!"

Blue eyes narrowed at that. "What do you mean?"

"Granted, he doesn't believe in Santa, neither do I, but it's still fun to have one sliding down your chimney."

"Then why do *I* have to do it? Sounds like something reckless that you are more likely to pull off."

Katsuya sighed, "I'd do it. But remember it's YOUR little brother. Imagine his look when he sees YOU as Santa... Eyes as big as saucers cuz of what his brother is doing for him... The kid would burst with love for you! Not that he already isn't yet, but it would be a damn nice thing from you."

_~End Flashback~_

So there he was, on the roof of his mansion, wearing that ridiculous red hat, coat and pants, white wig and beard staring down a chimney he never knew this house had. Trust the puppy to know about this little fact before he did.

As he stared down the black shaft he was glad he stuffed the costume with a few pillows, just like he was told by the self-proclaimed expert of Christmas Jounouchi Katsuya. At least they would soften his impact a little. Still it was not granted that he would survive the long journey down...

"Puppy, I'm going to make you pay for this," Seto sighed, checking the time before he took a deep breath and then climbed into the small shaft, letting gravity do its work. He fell and fell and started to panic, but then his way down was slowed down, taking him a little off guard. By looking up he noticed that the large brown bag he was carrying had unfolded itself, offering a bit of counterforce to the gravity that pulled him down. He sighed, his only concern now being the fact that there might be a fire going on in the fire place he was about to land in.

But he was lucky. As he crashed down on the wood, there was nothing that burned the cheap costume Jounouchi had gotten him. Instead the only thing that he saw when the dust had settled down again were a pair of huge, round cobalt blue eyes that stared at him with a mixture of shock, surprise and disbelief as he held a lit match in his hand, ready to light the pile of wood the older Kaiba had just landed on.

"Mokuba..." the disguised CEO gasped, face to face with his brother, the match having gone out from the air he had stirred.

The younger one blinked, just as taken aback by the situation as his brother and then asked doubtfully, "Nii-sama?"

Seto paled. He blew his cover!

Jumping to his feet he patted away some of the dust. Clearing his voice he said in a much darker tone that usual, "I am Santa Claus, I'm here to see whether you've been a good or a bad child this year."

Mokuba frowned in disbelief, thinking that his brother must have hit his head somewhere and hard on his way down, but then grinned and decided to go along with this game. "Well Santa, I've been an awful good boy this year. Just ask my big brother, he already said he was pleased with me this year."

Blue eyes blinked incredulously. "Did I? I mean, did he?"

Mokuba nodded, smiling gleefully, "Yes he did. He also said he wanted to get me a new bike for Christmas. Then there was a new computer, a few games for my PS2 and the HUGE model kit of Gundam Wing Zero Custom, you know, the one with the wings. Oh, and the new CD from Gackt."

Seto stared at his little brother in disbelief, blinking every now and then. He couldn't remember promising all these things, but of course it wasn't him in his usual attire that stood there. If it were, Mokuba would have to listen to a few VERY uncomfortable questions.

"Hohoho... So you've been a good boy, yes?"

The raven-haired boy nodded fiercely and Seto was sure to see some sadistic glint in his eyes as he smiled. He raised an eyebrow at that, but started rummaging in his bag nevertheless. "Well then, I'll make sure to talk to your brother about your presents, but I have this," he produced a little present, "for you made by my elves."

The tall youth visibly cringed at his choice of words, because they were so corny he could cry, but this was definitely the way Santa Claus would talk to little children... according to his Christmas-knowing consultant.

Mokuba obviously thought the same as his eyes got a little bit larger and his mouth threatened to drop down on the ground. Seto smiled, at least one thing that pleased him and nobody else in the room, making him just him happy... and not somebody else in the room. His brother was openly stunned and delighted by this little present.

He bowed down, groaning mentally because of the resistance from those pillows around him, and handed over the little colorful package. Mokuba took it, looking astounded at it for a moment and then jumped up to throw his arms around the red-clad one's neck, pulling him down into a bear hug. He had little tears in his eyes.

"Thank you," a shaky whisper reached Seto's ears, making him smile because of the love that rung in that small voice. Maybe the pup had been right.... this may have been a good idea.

Clearing his voice, Seto tried to straighten and normalize the situation. "Ahem... There are other children waiting for me..." Softly he pushed the smaller boy away. "I need to go..."

"Sure," Mokuba smiled, "Just go back up the chimney, I bet your reindeers are waiting for you."

The disguised boy's face all but faulted at this. He had to go back up there? How was he supposed to do this? He was lucky to redefine gravity's law on his way back down. But there was no way he could do that the other way round.

"Uh.... yes. They do," Seto lied, frantically searching for a way out of this situation and spotted a door to his right. With the thought that he was becoming more and more like the mutt while having him around him he patted his brother gently on the shoulder.

"Well then, look there," he pointed to the left, "There's a Blue Eyes White Dragon," he made up quickly and waited for Mokuba to look that direction. Then he made a dash for the other side of the room hoping to disappear before anybody noted that he couldn't keep up his disguise as Santa Claus.

Katsuya couldn't hold it anymore as he saw Seto dashing out of the room as if the hounds of hell were behind him. He collapsed on the ground, laughing so hard his stomach hurt and tears were flowing over his cheeks. He knew he'd have to face punishment for this later, but that tape in his camera was well worth everything he might have to face later.

Mokuba was snickering as well, both because of his brother but more because Jounouchi-kun's laughter was so infectious. Carefully he unwrapped his present, just to find a perfect wooden miniature of both the Blue Eyes White Dragon and the Red Eyes Black Dragon growling at each other while their tails were touching, a clear sign of affection. He smiled at the symbolism of the present, but then had to look at Jounouchi-kun, who was still hunched up on the floor, shaking with laughter. He could only imagine his brother fuming in the other room... He could almost see the clouds coming from there.

Blinking, he checked whether he really saw clouds, but then sighed happily as there were none. Shaking his head he went back to his room to place the little statue on a special place of his board, where it would be appreciated and seen from everywhere around the room.

After he had found the perfect place, he nodded happily to himself and returned downstairs to check if Jounouchi-kun had laughed himself to death already and if his brother was still wearing his Santa Claus attire.

The first thing he found was that the living room - the one with the chimney - was empty. The door to the room where Seto fled to was open only a creek, so he decided to not open the door too soundly so that he wouldn't scare whoever was behind.

He took a peek, eyes widening slightly, then smiled to himself and closed the door silently. Whistling to himself he slowly walked away, having a certain tune on his lips. He returned to his room, starting to sing the lyrics of the song he whistled.

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus,  
Underneath the mistletoe last night,  
She didn't see me creep,  
Down the stairs to have a peep,  
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep.

Then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus,  
Underneath his beard so snowy white,  
Oh what a laugh it would have been,  
If daddy had only seen, mommy kissing Santa Claus last night."

He snickered as he lay there on his bed, staring at the ceiling, very happy to have his brother that loved him so much to do the most outrageous things for him and Jounouchi-kun, who gave him the ideas of the most outrageous things that one could think of.

That way neither of them would get bored so soon.

_The End_  
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Yes, I plan a sequel to that. A much more citrusy sequel that will explain what Mokuba saw. ^^; But right now I'll get my most precious Christmas present... Sleep. ^.^


End file.
